How Baby Oil Is made.
Life in Liberty City
The other day I was playing Grand Theft Auto 4 with Pete and Justin. It occurred to us that living in Liberty City must be the absolute worst life possible.
Every day, an insane Russian man named Niko Bellic wreaks havoc on the entire city. He has a magical cell phone that allows him to spawn a plethora of weapons ranging from a baseball bat to an RPG Launcher. His magic cell phone also can create cars and helicopters out of thin air.
Day in and day out, Niko goes on killing sprees where he does anything from mowing down pedestrians with his car, to lobbing hand grenades at innocent civilians. His methods of mass murder are entirely unpredictable, so the people of Liberty City are forced to live in constant fear.
Fortunately there is hope; Liberty City has an infinite police force that eventually responds once Niko’s rampage has begun. As he accumulates felonies, countless police officers rush to the scene and attempt to kill Niko by whatever means possible (usually by either hitting him with their cars, or shooting him at point-blank range). Sometimes Niko will use explosives to kill himself along with several police officers. Sooner or later, the police officers manage to successfully kill Niko Bellic. Unfortunately this is not the end.
Every time he dies, Niko re-spawns perfectly healthy outside of the hospital! What proceeds is a vicious cycle of dozens of civilian casualties, police intervention, explosions, death, and re-birth.
Liberty City and its inhabitants are at the mercy of a disgruntled, psychopathic, immortal murderer known only to us as Niko Bellic. The people of Liberty City cannot leave, and every day they wake up wondering if Niko’s reign of terror will come to their doorstep. And such is life in Liberty City.
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